Closer to Hell

Ep. 3: Oh Crappy Day (feat. Bill Fryer)

Episode Summary

After accidentally springing a leak in his septic tank, Rick calls his brother-in-law Mark Pascetti (Bill Fryer) to help him fix the problem. Music: Noir Theme by PK Jazz Collective Footsteps, Muddy, E by InspectorJ

Episode Notes


Noir Theme by PK Jazz Collective

Footsteps, Muddy, E by InspectorJ


Episode Transcription

rick  0:02  

Alright folks, with this shovel, I hereby officially break ground on the Rick McNamara in ground pool Project 123.


Previously on this podcast a pool Maffia, just a thing that exists in the world,


Unknown Speaker  1:02  

whether or not the pool mafia exists in the world when your head is still the same power, okay?


rick  1:09  

I want to put in an inground pool so that doesn't happen again. And I feel like it's something that I might be able to handle myself.


Unknown Speaker  1:18  

I'd suggest get a big shovel and dig a big hole and prepare to get buried because it will bury you brother. Okay.


rick  1:27  

Did you did you eat it then because I like to go I sometimes go to McDonald's and get a mcgriddle for the next morning because I'm too tired in the morning to go water. So I save it.


Unknown Speaker  1:39  

What I do is I eat half and then I save the rest. Okay.


rick  1:47  

Episode Three, oh, crappy day. As you can probably tell by now that clip you just heard was my first attempt at breaking ground school. But I did not account for however, was the depth at which my septic tank was buried. I brought out the shovel I picked up from the Home Depot on the 29th which is a little bit farther from my house than the Lowe's on Piedmont. But I find that Home Depot has an easier layout to to navigate for me so for me, it's worth the extra 10 minutes. Once rain was that new several and a big geyser, a raw sewage shot 25 feet straight up into the roof, splattering the skylight windows on the roof over my living room and coating my yard, which again, has no natural drainage with a foamy topcoat, peepee and poopoo. Luckily, I have a septic guy, my brother in law maka skin, the brother of my late wife Susan has sketti installs septic tanks, and provides other sewage related services. I always defer to his expertise in these kinds of situations. Mike was slow to accept me as a brother in law, he would routinely tell me that I was way too soft to ever be a part of his family. Over time, however, I think we've become really good friends despite the fact that my wife is no longer with us. He's kind of like the older brother I never had. I gave him a call as soon as I cleaned enough to exam I used to be able to hear again. And he came over a few hours later to sort things out. So obviously, this is where the geyser erupted I was trying to break ground on my on my I'm putting in an inground pool because my other one collapsed. And so I just first swing of the shovel, geyser of pee and poopy and everything was coming out and getting everywhere. And as you can see, my yard has no natural drainage. So it's all just kind of sitting there. I got I actually got I taped a kitchen plate over the over the whole one two started to die down a little bit so it's not spraying as much


Unknown Speaker  4:00  

That was good. That was quick thinking that and I respect that. Probably not gonna use that


rick  4:05  

plate ever again.


Unknown Speaker  4:05  

Well, you never know. Um, and I'll take it off your hands if you don't want it. But uh, listen. Yeah, the reason is a really simple thing for usually by law 25 feet on the ground. So your yard when we put this septic tank in, we found a lot of slate. Okay, so that's just like sheet rock underneath the yard. And I don't know if your house was built on some sort of parking lot. I don't know what I don't know what you got going on. We couldn't put


rick  4:36  

it in too deep. We were told it was an ancient Native American parking lot house was built. Oh, sometimes you still hear the honks.


Unknown Speaker  4:45  

Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah, that would explain a couple of other artifacts. We found some doesn't that but but so really your septic tank is it's it's an inch or so under the dirt. So yeah, you I don't know if an inground pools away to go here.


rick  5:02  

Look, Mark, I respect your opinion, but I can't do another above ground pool. I just, I just ruined all my vintage baseball cards by flooding my basement. Well, almost all of them some of them are salvageable, but, and then I ruined my neighbor's Etsy shop out of his garage. And and I can't I can't go through that again. You know? Plus it's what my wife would have wanted. Sure.


Unknown Speaker  5:26  

Well yeah cute. Yeah, Susie was a she she wanted


rick  5:31  

me on it and I kept I kept holding out.


Unknown Speaker  5:33  

Yeah, you guys will find a lot once.


rick  5:34  

I wouldn't say a lot. Most of what we were big play fighters, you know, she'd be like, I, you know, I'd be like, Oh, yeah, you're a bitch. And she'd be like, I want a divorce. And we'd be like, I just kidding. No,


Unknown Speaker  5:49  

that's not Yeah, it always seemed, you know, darker than then that but you know, who am I? To say? I'm just a simple septic. But, uh, let me tell you something. This is what you can do. So you already got a ton of people on Yeah, right. And


rick  6:05  

I'd like to not have as much. I don't know how we get it off. But


Unknown Speaker  6:10  

sure. And I'm gonna tell you right now school you got to do snow


rick  6:16  

like big now Could I get like a shot back and just


Unknown Speaker  6:20  

you know, it's the the shot back industry is yet to produce a vac capable of intaking solid human waste. So once it gets once you get the human waste that you have been having solid,


rick  6:34  

I've been having some number twos and number threes, but I yeah, number three, three. I've been welded, this new Indian place opened up around the corner. And, and


Unknown Speaker  6:48  

the kind of the


rick  6:50  

the Asian kind and so I I love naan bread. But, and I do love the taste of the curry, but it doesn't agree with the consistency of it, I think is throws me off because it's like, eating soup off of a plate. You know. So I i just i but i love this stuff. And I always it never agrees with me. Because I grew up a meat and potatoes kind of guy. And so now i just i it just destroys me.


Unknown Speaker  7:19  

Okay, well, I mean, I really, if we got to scoop it up, you know, and the only thing that we really only have a few sizes of scope. So you know, we're gonna have to work with what we got. So I can send a guy out there, maybe Wednesday to kind of get an assessment. And you know,


rick  7:39  

we can move on there any way we could do this before Wednesday, cuz again, it's, it's peepee and poopoo. all over my yard. It's raw fecal matter in my yard. And I would like to I can take care of it myself. If I just have the proper tools. I have the shovel. I just don't know what where I would scoop it to.


Unknown Speaker  7:56  

Gotta be. Gotta be. I know. I know. It. You think you could do a shovel? It's got to be a scope got to have that sort of base and bottom, you know? Like, I gotcha, gotcha. You wouldn't need a shovel on ice cream would you


rick  8:12  

know? I mean, maybe if I was given a script to a giant i would i would give him a


Unknown Speaker  8:17  

no show. No, you wouldn't. You wouldn't use it. You wouldn't even if it was a giant. I'm sorry. Todd. You would, you wouldn't use it. Alright, so


rick  8:26  

I was just trying to be funny. I didn't mean to.


Unknown Speaker  8:31  

That's okay. That's, that's all right. I just got a lot on my plate right now my sister staying with. I mean, we got a house guest here. So you know, it's it's kind of, it's just hectic anyway, so. Yeah, we


Unknown Speaker  8:44  

can draw.


rick  8:47  

Yeah, so for the listeners. My wife had had a sister, Maryland, who is also Mark's brother, I guess sister would be the woods. Yeah,


Unknown Speaker  9:01  

we are all siblings. Yeah.


Unknown Speaker  9:05  

Because you've had this conversation with all her


rick  9:09  

littleness. I'm sorry.


Unknown Speaker  9:12  

Oh, right. Okay. All right. Good. Night.


rick  9:14  

Yeah. I'm really excited about the getting this fecal matter off my one. So it looks like so if the septic tank is right here and there's too much sleep it doesn't look like I'm gonna be able to dig straight down here without moving the septic tank right.


Unknown Speaker  9:35  

Yeah, that is correct. Yeah, it's a very you'd have to move it what we could do is doing


rick  9:41  

above ground septic Tom.


Unknown Speaker  9:45  

Yeah, like a like a. It looks like a water tower. But it's smaller. And it says


rick  9:51  

pee pee poop on this just didn't have to say pee pee poop on the side. Could it be like discreet


Unknown Speaker  9:57  

I know it sounds silly, but that it's a it's a little Not a lot of people go for it.


rick  10:02  

Yeah, cuz I feel like if the if the above ground pool was too much of an issue for my dad, I probably shouldn't do another. I shouldn't do an above ground septic tank. Because again, look at the natural drainage, it's non existent.


Unknown Speaker  10:20  

You don't have any Yeah, I know I'm noticing that usually we can't we can't do something like that without natural drainage but uh, have you thought about getting a sewer hookup? What's that situation like in


rick  10:31  

your thought about it? But it's, I mean, it's, it seems very doable, but I also i flush I flush a lot of stuff. And I don't want I don't want them getting mad at me for flushing. I do a lot of wet wipe flushing I I don't love that I do it. I'm not happy about it. But


Unknown Speaker  10:54  

so just looking. I mean, looking looking at EOD now. I I'm seeing a lot of like action figure pieces, car keys or keys, and I don't know if that's your car.


Unknown Speaker  11:06  

Well, I'm a little concerned.


rick  11:09  

I was got this. It's actually a funny story, right? I brought it a box. I was cleaning out my attic and I had a box of all my old you know, like, kids stuff growing up, whatever. And then I had to I had to take a pee. So I went into the bathroom. I had the box in my hands. I sneezed while I was peeing, p p goes everywhere Of course. And also I fill the box. I spilled a box and then when I bend down to pick it up, I have a little bit of PMI eyes. I'm reaching down to get stuff out of the toilet. My head hits the flush. So so I kind of heard it almost got it got me like just above the eye and I accidentally flushed the toilet. It was the keys to my my childhood diary got flushed down the toilet. A couple of Matchbox cars I lost a couple of action figures I lost because I have a very powerful toilet I had one put in after the Indian food place moved in. And I also lost. I lost a ceramic Ladybug that I had painted. When I was


Unknown Speaker  12:25  

Oh, I remember that. I remember that


rick  12:30  

as an ashtray. Yeah, it was. I mean, we all had we all had a good laugh about it after the fact once you explained that it was a joke.


Unknown Speaker  12:43  



Unknown Speaker  12:46  

That's what I was. That's what I was doing those Dutch masters too. Those were those were


rick  12:52  

those? Yeah, yeah, no one makes us a god quite like the Dutch.


Unknown Speaker  12:57  

Yeah. Hey, look, he gets the job done. I was having a good old time. But anyway, so back to your problem. Yeah, I mean, look, I think the long and the short of it is you need to you need to just do your doodoos in a bucket and dump it out into the river or something because you know, the whole situation here. I think it's it's just kind of I guess


rick  13:21  

I guess I could is there some way I could put like a filter in so that I don't flush things down the toilet by accident? No more.


Unknown Speaker  13:30  

Oh, in the toilet, surely. Yeah. You could do but you know, with with your What are you gonna spend some time


rick  13:35  

spent in toilet? Yeah, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  13:38  

Again. So I know. So that would suck the filter right off any kind of filter, you put an expense and it gets sucked right out.


rick  13:46  

They call this a black hole.


Unknown Speaker  13:50  

They call it that's


rick  13:52  

accurate singularity of water pressure.


Unknown Speaker  13:56  

I knew a guy and I'm not I shouldn't be telling you this. But I know a guy who was doing a he did a pre pre flush on his fence and sucked his B hole right? Oh,


Unknown Speaker  14:09  

you get


Unknown Speaker  14:10  

I didn't even know B holes came out. Oh, well, you know, it's it's like it's like a tube that goes through your body. And the beholder? If you do


rick  14:17  

get sucked out, does that mean your mouth kind of gets sucked in? Because you end up looking like a like a turtle or something?


Unknown Speaker  14:27  

Yeah, well, he got it all the way out.


Unknown Speaker  14:32  

He was out basically. Yeah. Who foma goof Yeah, that would be still pending. So I'm not supposed to talk about it. But that's what happened. I mean, I'm not


rick  14:41  

Jesus. That's what happened. So never, never. Ladies and gentlemen listeners never sit and flush. Always stand up. Fix your pants up and then flush on the way out. Sometimes I sometimes I flushed with my with my foot because I'm in nervous about journey. So if I'm like barefoot at the beach I flush with my foot.


Unknown Speaker  15:05  

Yeah, you always kind of a pussy. Yeah,


rick  15:07  

I wouldn't. I wouldn't say like that. I mean, definitely. No, I, I like what I like, and that's not something that you should be insulted for. And also, probably don't we don't we don't like to use the P word in a derogatory way on this podcast just because all you know. Yeah, it's demeaning.


Unknown Speaker  15:33  

Sure, okay. Jesus, what will you kind of, uh, I don't know, everything else is so it doesn't have the the punch of a whatever. Let's just move on. I don't I don't know why I I don't know what else. I've never seen so much potpourri in my wife.


rick  15:55  

And I won't apologize for it. Until today, my yard smell great.


Unknown Speaker  16:02  

Sure, yeah. Yeah. Okay, so I guess that brings us back to buckets. I mean, does that is that an option? Do you have buckets? Not buckets?


rick  16:13  

I have I have a two five gallon buckets. One of them is one of them is full of old balls right now. So ideally, oh. I support with a wiffle. You should there's a bunch of kids in the neighborhood and they let me up. Oh,


Unknown Speaker  16:35  

oh, you play with kids?


rick  16:36  

Yeah, I mean, I'm a 55 year old retired printer salesman. I need you know some action in my life every once in a while so


Unknown Speaker  16:46  

call to action.


rick  16:47  

I think I don't get I don't understand.


Unknown Speaker  16:51  

You talking about getting action? Yeah,


rick  16:52  

like we play with the ball. We're playing sports. While I'm young. They let me all the cool kids and the cool kids this month. They're way smarter than I was when I was their age.


Unknown Speaker  17:05  

Well, you're done now.


rick  17:07  

Well, no, I'm I'm pretty. I've read I read books is the thing.


Unknown Speaker  17:13  

That's you


rick  17:14  

know, that doesn't well. Anyway, these kids these kids know way more swear words than I knew. And cusses and stuff. Oh yeah. And the way clever about it did that kind of smart where they can just kind of size you up and cut you down. Those kids are the cool kids the cool kids they let me on. I want my right my issue with with the buckets is I don't want them. I don't want the I guess this is gonna sound a little bit crazy. I don't want pee and poop sitting around in my house just uncovered or whatever.


Unknown Speaker  17:54  

You could call it saran wrap. tin foil. I got a guy I know a guy who uses like pizza pans you know, pizza pan over so


rick  18:06  

that's really our only option is putting a pizza pan over a five gallon drum with pissin proof


Unknown Speaker  18:20  

supposed to do Okay, tell me Oh, you know my my septic tank furnace. Okay, what do you know? Can you do? What are you doing above ground with PVC?


rick  18:33  

What do you want if I just do a smaller pool? And a small What if I go like half my yard is the pool and half my yard is a septic tank? Can I get a smallest septic tank put in?


Unknown Speaker  18:45  

I don't know if they make smaller ones. To be honest. We went with the the little NEEMO that that's the brand name of the septic tank and that's pretty much it. I mean, that's as low as that go. It really is. It's a little NEEMO bucket. Those are the that's the next step down is there


rick  19:04  

a way I could get like a custom job do you know anyone who do like a custom job?


Unknown Speaker  19:11  

custom what like a custom a


rick  19:13  

custom tank.


Unknown Speaker  19:16  

Oh, you still on tanks. Okay, well, uh Yeah, see, I know I'm out


rick  19:20  

on buckets by the way. I'm not I don't want to keep


Unknown Speaker  19:25  

I don't know.


Unknown Speaker  19:30  

I know a guy who does custom tanks. He's really really good. Um, but he he got us inside.


Unknown Speaker  19:43  

Anyway, so yeah, you got it. You got as a hook to pulled out by himself. Yeah.


rick  19:49  

Oh, you hate to see that. Just a guy I need to just like I'm just I keep running into I keep having just bad luck, Mark. I have such bad luck lately?


Unknown Speaker  20:01  

Yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean ever since


rick  20:04  

five years ago, you know, my it's just, um, I tried to stay positive but sometimes it's really hard because it's like, I'm I'm just I'm frustrated man. I'm, I'm tired of the other day. I swear to God. Black Cat walked right in front of me. And then I got hit by a tractor on the road.


Unknown Speaker  20:32  

Like a slow slow moving.


rick  20:34  

Yeah, I came around a blind corner Really? Well at track this speed. And yeah, he kind of hit me a little bit with one of the top one of those big tires in the back. Yeah, I think I'm just cursed man. I think I'm just cursed. Everything I tried to do.


Unknown Speaker  20:52  

Yeah. And you are.


rick  20:53  

You own a black cat. I do mittens. Yeah, right. I call him mittens because I'll hit the the black of his paws is slightly darker than the black of the rest of them.


Unknown Speaker  21:04  

Show I know, I've heard you tell this story before. And it's just as interesting as it was the last time and


rick  21:10  

it's like, if you look at certain lights, you can kind of see how the paws are a little bit darker, like when he's lying in the sun because he likes to nap in the sun.


Unknown Speaker  21:22  

Really, that's unusual for cats. Listen, why don't we just get back to the pupil peepee situation because that I mean, I am billing you for this. So I you know, I should try to drive you back to that. Um, so I we got different. We got let's see 123. I've six buckets here that I could bring over? And with your two. I mean, you might be all set. If you have without the only plate you use the one in the yard, or do you have other plates.


rick  21:51  

I have two other plates. One is for one is my pasta plate. And one is for my lean cuisines I like it's one of those plates that's like a little bit more curved in so it's like half plate half bowl. So


Unknown Speaker  22:07  

yeah, I remember that. I remember that. I used that as an app. Yeah.


rick  22:10  

Which I wish you had waited till I was done with my lasagna. But


Unknown Speaker  22:17  

it was funny, because I was like, Oh, you want a little Dutch lasagna and I asked one of my Dutch masters. It was


rick  22:25  

really funny. I remember playing joking, but it was in the moment pretty hurtful. And I made my lasagna tastes like fire. But I I found that I found that I find that those are not as good at covering up. You know, the jet of ppm. Is there. Is there a way shimmy outs? That one can drain a septic tank? drain because you installed this and there's like a little thing. Yeah. Like we were told to schedule an appointment and then nobody ever came to empty it out. So I figured we were fine.


Unknown Speaker  23:13  

Yeah, I mean, I don't do the empties.


rick  23:16  

So, so it's supposed to be emptied.


Unknown Speaker  23:22  

I mean, look, I don't I've been doing this job for let's see. 24 years. Okay. And in that in that in my tenure, I've never ever emptied a septic tank or heard of somebody wanting to so you know. You know what? I'm looking at my I just there is one guy who does and you're gonna you're gonna laugh Oh, you know, got it. Yeah. This would be cool. If this was a pool pool type situation. Now he put a B hole up against the filter. suck the suck hole, you know, you know the sack hole in


rick  24:04  

the jet. No, no, this is the filter something.


Unknown Speaker  24:11  

Yeah, it just sucks to suck. Like a suckle. Usually you get used to this terminology getting an inground pool. Anyways, he was sitting on it and cranking and suck will suck his tubes right out. So, you know, that's the only guy


rick  24:29  

yeah, again, me and my luck.


Unknown Speaker  24:33  

I've crazy that that that really does


rick  24:35  

have a misunderstanding too, because I was under the impression that we were just good to go and it went into the center of the earth or something. But


Unknown Speaker  24:43  

yeah, I mean, like I said, 24 years I've never I don't know,


rick  24:48  

I I guess I could just stop going to the Indian place four times a week and not anything crazy.


Unknown Speaker  24:57  

I mean, let's let's let's think about options. You know, let's just let's review our list here. So we got buckets,


rick  25:06  

buckets, I'm gonna write these down just so we remember not


Unknown Speaker  25:10  

Yeah. Write this down.


Unknown Speaker  25:13  

And and buckets.


rick  25:14  

We don't want to use them if we don't have to.


Unknown Speaker  25:21  

We don't want to use buckets. What do you mean? Wait? I mean, I want to use I use buckets at home. I that's how I do my business. That's how I put it


rick  25:29  

in your life. What does your wife think about it? Because I remember


Unknown Speaker  25:33  

it was right here.


rick  25:35  

Wow, that's pretty gross. I know. Your wife your wife seems very chill. She seems very chill. Like mean chill. I again, I haven't talked to us since we we did William Tell with your son. But


Unknown Speaker  25:50  

she does not like you. And those times is still blown out. So you know, I wouldn't even I wouldn't show


rick  25:57  

you guys just not driving the minivan. Oh, what? No, we drive it blown out tires. Yeah, it's okay. Well,


Unknown Speaker  26:06  

I say Hey, babe, I'm gonna run it down to Pep Boys and you need anything Pep Boys.


rick  26:11  

What a what a what a world we live in, by the way. So with the Jeff petty stuff going on. It's just It's wild, man. Listen. Yeah. Look, I just I don't want to I don't want to rush anything. But I really do want to, you know what, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna stop. I'm going to stop eating so much. Wait, hang on, hang on. So is there any way that we can put the septic tank under the inground? pool? Can we just dig it deep?


Unknown Speaker  26:44  

Interesting. Okay. Okay, I think you're gonna run into the slight issue of a lot of sleep apnea.


rick  26:53  

But it's how, how much? How big is the septic tank? Because you said slate was like 25 feet down.


Unknown Speaker  27:03  

Yeah, the tank. I mean, well, you can do any. You can do different sizes. You have the little NEEMO the one you got, and then it goes all the way up to


Unknown Speaker  27:14  

the dunk. Dunk. And


Unknown Speaker  27:18  

that's the biggest one we got. I don't know. That's kind of we use that for like baseball stadiums and stuff. Yeah. We could we could do it by him. Right?


rick  27:29  

Yeah. Yeah. It's right around. You can hear it from here.


Unknown Speaker  27:33  

Yeah, yeah. Why don't you know what this is what I'll do. I'll do a tube coming up out of your house. Right. And then we'll just go down into the the


rick  27:44  

perfect. I won't be there's no way I'll be doing the nastiest poops of anyone at a professional baseball stadium.


Unknown Speaker  27:53  

Yeah, no, there's they go through that. You don't want to be down in


rick  27:58  

there. You don't want to go on a dime. And there's no chance of that. I mean, the dunk dunk is big enough that there's no chance of it backing up into my home is


Unknown Speaker  28:11  

what I you know, I don't think so. I mean, I stopped putting action figures.


rick  28:15  

It was an accident. I don't, I don't flush multiple action figures. I just I spilled a box of trinkets and accidentally flushed it because I sneezed when I got pissed in my eye.


Unknown Speaker  28:27  

So I heard the story the last time um, but there's, there's like 300 so action figures out this some Right. I mean, some of those look like martial toys. And I don't know why these flushing knows.


rick  28:39  

Well, you won't believe this. But I was cleaning out the attic and I had a box of it was a box labeled mersal toys. And I came down the attic and I had just drank too too full. Polar black cherry seltzers and so oh so good.


Unknown Speaker  29:01  



Unknown Speaker  29:03  

they make they give me bad girl.


rick  29:06  

That's part of the story. I was I was going into the P right. And I think all the combination had combined into one or two bubbles I guess it was well maybe it was one bubble that forced its way out both ends. But while I was holding this box of trinkets, I left out the biggest belch and fat combo of my life. And I I swear to God, I was lifted off my feet momentarily. And obviously the pee went everywhere. Got my I spilled the toys into the toilet and I went to go, I went to flush it. I well I went to flush it because I was peeing everywhere. And then I was like, Oh wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. And oh, no, no, no.


Unknown Speaker  29:54  

This is this is gonna sound crazy. You know, you can hear me out. Don't hold valuable family relics over the toilet when you use it. I don't well


rick  30:04  

that's it's easy. It's easier said than done because sometimes, sometimes you just gotta go. And the box might sink or the counter space next to my sink is too small for a box. So


Unknown Speaker  30:18  

the biggest thing


Unknown Speaker  30:22  

you have a full house, you've paid off the mortgage you live in you have the fucking pneumatic tube for the shower. And there's no counterfeit. What


rick  30:32  

I mean, at this point, I have no more valuables left to flush. So, so it seems like too little too late to fix my bathroom.


Unknown Speaker  30:41  

Yeah. Okay, fine.


rick  30:44  

Ah, all right. Well, that's why you see so many of my wife's skov in here as well.


Unknown Speaker  30:50  

I'm gonna grab some of those because she's been asking about I mean, my sister's been asking about where were their scarves when so?


rick  31:01  

Yeah, um, oh, I've had them. Yeah, she should have I mean, obviously. Maryland isn't speaking to me. But she could have just called for you could have called or whatever. I didn't see me in like two months. How have you been by the way?


Unknown Speaker  31:15  

I've been good. I've been good. I


rick  31:18  

get a stone.


Unknown Speaker  31:20  

Yeah. Oh, stone. A goof. Yeah. Yeah. It was not pleasant. Kind of like, you know, do you ever see like a like a rabbit?


rick  31:34  

Oh, yeah. It's all just pellets. This is a true story. I had a rabbit when I was a little a little kid. And it would always it would always escape its little pen. And the one thing it would do every morning is just poop in my dad's shoes. And it was like, every morning he'd wake up and like his shoes, a different pair every time. But it was always my dad's and they were always full of those little Cocoa Puffs poops.


Unknown Speaker  32:01  

Yeah, you remember that time I put I booked a new one.


rick  32:03  

Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah. It I don't think that the smell of the poop plus the ash helped. I think that's why I started using the potpourri was was after that day.


Unknown Speaker  32:22  

I'm just saying it you you know I'm coming over. Put some ashtrays out. I hate having to make these examples. I feel like it's almost your fault. Like Yeah.


rick  32:30  

Oh, you just got some ash. I hate to be that guy. But you did just get Ash on my shirt. And this is kind of new. So


Unknown Speaker  32:39  

do I don't see an ashtray here.


rick  32:40  

Yeah, sorry. I was just a little preoccupied up this the ladybug.


Cloud right in the shape of a penis. Yeah.


Unknown Speaker  32:54  

Yeah, I get good. I can make it come back into my mouth to watch.


rick  33:00  

Whoa, he just sucked down that cloud wean. That's pretty cool. You have you been doing? A lot of those. Remember last time you were trying to get vape tricks but with cigars started? Yeah, my son, Murph. Yeah. He's a he was a bit of a hype beast. So he knows a lot about or he did know a lot about vape tricks and stuff. So he kind of got you onto that wavelength if I remember correctly.


Unknown Speaker  33:29  

He did. He's taught me some really i mean he. When,


rick  33:34  

you know, in the past, past tense


Unknown Speaker  33:38  

in the past? Yeah. He taught me how to do that little caulk move that I just did. Oh, he did. He did he he showed me how to do one where I blow out the smoke and it looks like a George Jefferson from the Jefferson.


rick  33:54  

Yeah, that's Well, I I would say that looks more like George Jetson Jefferson.


Unknown Speaker  34:02  

No, George Jefferson.


rick  34:03  

Well, no, I know you say it is but I'm looking at it. And it's clearly George Jetson.


Unknown Speaker  34:11  

Jetson, he's dressed. I'll give you like a just put the faces


rick  34:17  

in the faces George Jefferson. But he's wearing he's wearing a logo list. White popped collar and a green belt and blue pants.


Unknown Speaker  34:30  

No, that's a that's a that was like an artistic flair. I don't know how you'd even do


rick  34:34  

this, but it's cool.


Unknown Speaker  34:38  

That's the Dutch master secret right there. And I'm not I'm not gonna tell. But I can suck him off too. So. Oh,


rick  34:46  

just as crutch went away. Perfect. All.


Unknown Speaker  34:51  

Yeah. Yeah, well, you can good. Anyways, that'll be there for a few weeks. So


Unknown Speaker  34:58  

just just something you should know though. Don't get concerned.


rick  35:02  

That's not healthy. Whatever it is. If the if the cloud is sticking around for a week, this can't be good for your body to ingest that.


Unknown Speaker  35:14  

Hey, listen, I'm gonna tell you what I told the doctor. Go fuck yourself. You can just doing that. Yeah, um, so I guess looking looking at the whiteboard and we have buckets and dump tongs, I think


rick  35:29  

I think we can block in the dunk tank. I think that's gonna be my best option right now. Um, pass on a high pass on buckets. Because I don't know where else I'm going to keep my wiffle balls if I'm being honest.


Unknown Speaker  35:44  

Anywhere anywhere else, they're not. I mean, they don't. You could put them in a in a in put them in the shower. You know


rick  35:52  

people that's where I keep all my pennies. So then I have to move my pennies. And then where am I going to put pennies the piggy banks are full of swag.


Unknown Speaker  36:03  

Okay, I I'm seeing the Rube Goldberg Machine kind of laid out here so I'm gonna back away from this one. So okay, so we're doing pipe now let's see there's a couple of different kinds of pipe you can go with. So we have brass


rick  36:19  

brass does that make like a trumpet sound as stuff slides through it or like that's pretty


Unknown Speaker  36:27  

well that's like a fun that's like


Unknown Speaker  36:30  

that's a fun fact that for brass wood not commonly


rick  36:34  

used like an old like an old aqueduct


Unknown Speaker  36:39  

well those were stone so


rick  36:42  

cheap but aqueduct


Unknown Speaker  36:45  

sure you could think about it like that and you'll be a bit of an innovative because nobody has ever used wood in the sewage but you but you have the pipes you stock the pipes. Oh, of course. I mean, I'm working but no one ever you know, know that they're all it's old. One Two. It's not because we've had it for well 24 years I mean, since I've been doing I bought a why when I got my my my septic license I went on I buy that 400 feet of wooden pipe. And


rick  37:22  

okay, I still had a little listening listeners. Listeners Mack persichetti has the oldest more deist pile of firewood in his backyard you've ever seen it's it's not well no I thought you had the what was under the top then.


Unknown Speaker  37:42  

Oh, yeah, no, no I thought I


rick  37:44  

thought the pipe would is different. I understand what I was talking about. Yeah, it's when you when you this method like going to make a fire in the middle of the freezing cold and picking up a log covenant bugs and then carrying it into your house while your skin crawls. It just makes the fire so much more satisfying to to sit around


Unknown Speaker  38:10  

in the woods. I mean we put the tarp over it because you know to keep the bugs in and pick up you pick up that wood that's like picking up that sponge. This wood is soul damp. And burns good. You know you that. That is the trade off you have it's a little ogee


rick  38:28  

when you pick it up when you burn it. It smells like a dog at the beach. But yeah, but it goes but it burns hot. It burns hot and smoky. Which is just how you like it.


Unknown Speaker  38:40  

That's right. You close that form.


Unknown Speaker  38:44  

Throw those logs in there.


rick  38:47  

What a Christmas morning that was


Unknown Speaker  38:51  

that was fun. That was fun again sometime. Yeah.


Unknown Speaker  38:55  

Quit while we could do it. Wow. Are you?


rick  38:57  

Oh, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  38:58  

Blue eyes and my wife's minivan so that I don't I don't.


rick  39:02  

I bought the tires. I don't.


Unknown Speaker  39:07  

Yeah, it's more of a principle thing with her. Once you kind of go bad you never come back from that.


rick  39:14  

I mean, she didn't mind you shooting the can off your son's head. But I mean, you're also a better shot than I am. Oh, better shot. And it was it was funny. It was it was nice. It was a nice touch to explain to him while he was crying that it was a joke. And then he got it and he felt better.


Unknown Speaker  39:31  

Yeah, that's true. And he he'll do that from time to time. And I mean, I know when when Mark was crying, I just or when he was when he was when he was crying. I'd be like, I'll give you something to cry about.


rick  39:46  

Yeah, it was. It was weird when you do that, like when he got into his teens, but it was also very funny.


Unknown Speaker  39:53  

Yeah, that's why I did it. I'm


rick  39:57  

gonna cry about a little smack or whatever. Yeah, yeah. Which he was allergic to. So it was actually very funny when you explain it when you explain the joke. It's very funny to ash onto him.


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