Closer to Hell

Ep. 1: Damage Assessment (feat. Andy Bridges)

Episode Summary

After the collapse of his above-ground pool, Rick McNamara decides its time to make a lifestyle change: he's going to become an in-ground pool man. First, he visits his neighbor, Patrick Betts (Andy Bridges) to assess damages to the latter's flooded garage. Music: Noir Theme by the PK Jazz Collective My Life by Dee Yan-Key

Episode Notes


 Noir Theme by the PK Jazz Collective

 My Life by Dee Yan-Key

Episode Transcription

rick  0:01  

As a parent, it is your duty to keep your good white Christian American children out of the sweltering summer heat. Your kids love to swim but you worry about the local swimming pool as it is pick carp deep into the earth. When swimming in one of these in brown pools, your precious Caucasian children are physically closer to the fiery gates of hell than ever before. Well worry no more. The above ground pool is the answer to all of your prayers to a Christian God. Enjoy all the luxury of a pool without exposing yourself to the risk of Satan's influence. Many children even the wives can take it provided suppers already taken care of. We've even taken the precaution of painting a crucifix on the underside of the pool to ensure that those dastardly demons stay where they belong. So pick up the phone and call me. McNamara and get yourself an aboveground pool today.


Hello, my name is Rick McNamara. I'm a 55 year old recently retired printer salesman and a lifelong above ground pool owner, which is you know, kind of what happens when you're a descendent of ground royalty. That man you heard in the commercial. That's my grandfather, oldest McNamara inventor of the above ground. He did dozens of TV and radio ads for his pools in the 40s and 50s. This one was the last 20 minutes to record before being arrested for selling endangered jungle cats at a local Episcopal Church. I love and swear by above ground pools and always will. Not only are they part of my heritage, but they're also an absolute blast on a hot day. You see, I have a lot of trees in my shade is nice keeps a cool no hotter than 62 degrees which is perfect for a hot day. The downside is that it means that I end up skimming the pool for about 40 or 45 minutes get all the leaves out every morning. given the choice, I would choose an above ground pool over an inground pool nine times out of 10. However, recent events have planted me firmly in that last 10th timeline where I don't go with the above ground. My wife and I used to fight about the pool all the time. She wanted an inground but I would not but five years ago I went on a ski trip with my wife and son. My son takes after his mother who is an avid skier. I on the other hand in the pool man. I don't do great in the cold and I don't do great on land, so they ditched me on the bunny slopes that day. I went to meet up with them at the end of the day at the lodge and started talking to a cool skier and a cool Red Hat with a cool black X on it. That cool skier with the cool black X on his cool Red Hat told me that they had been an avalanche on the north side of the mountain and that my wife and son were missing. They were presumed dead and their bodies were never recovered. I'd be lying to you if I said that the disappearance of my wife and son did not taint my enjoyment of the pool. But I also found comfort in routine. So against the wishes of my late wife, I kept skimming and swimming in the above ground. Not knowing that my yard had no natural drainage. In my hubris, I opened myself up to a second tragedy. If my wife was still with us, she'd be given me the biggest I told you so of my life. One month ago, I was skimming the pool when I got spooked by a very big dog, causing me to fall hard into the wall of the pool, which in turn caused the pool to collapse and spill almost 6000 gallons of water into my basement and my neighbor's garage ruining among other things, my vintage baseball card collection. At that moment, I realized I had to make a change. So what is this you're listening to exactly? Well, it's what's called a podcast. I started listening to podcasts recently while skimming the pool or riding my bike to CVS or when I'm doing my nebulizer treatments. And what I learned is that most podcast is just guys




So I thought people might be interested to see me document myself going through the biggest lifestyle change a man can make going from being an above ground man to an inground man. But what I found through these recordings, however, was that my grandfather was right. This journey brought me closer to my own personal hell than I could have ever imagined.


Let's start at the beginning.


6000 is a lot of gallons of water. enough water to do some real damage. Imagine 6000 gallons have milk from the grocery store. Now imagine those plastic containers were actually filled with water instead of milk. Now imagine all 6000 of those gallons of milk filled with water spilling out all over a yard with no natural drainage. Some of the waters shot right into my basement, among other things, partially ruining my afla mentioned vintage baseball cards. But mostly it surged into my neighbor's garage. And I later learned their basement too. I obviously intended to pay for all damages my carelessness caused. So I grabbed a six pack of PVR and walked over to talk to my neighbor, Patrick Betts and see what I owed him.


Patrick, you're home? Pat. Knock knock.


patrick betts  5:56  

Yeah. Hey, Rick. I'm Uh, I'm out back on the deck.


rick  6:00  

Okay, well, I'll come around. I brought you. I brought you a couple of PBRs. I I'll be honest, I had one on the way over, so. Okay,


Unknown Speaker  6:11  

I can see I can see a couple and the wife's gone. I can I can speak Oh,


rick  6:14  

Lovely. Lovely. Did you just did you just finish this deck? Did you just restate it?


Unknown Speaker  6:20  

Yeah. Well, not just it was a last year thing. But uh, Oh. Wow.


rick  6:26  

I I haven't seen it since I guess. We're, um,


patrick betts  6:30  

yeah, I think it's been I think it's been a while since you've been over.


rick  6:34  

Yeah, I'm, I'm sorry about that. I, I didn't mean to, I don't mean to intrude by the way I just I really wanted to, you know, I wanted to apologize for you know, flooding your garage and I kind of explained myself a little bit. You see I, I got I was I was skimming it and I got there was a big dog and I got spooked. And I fell and collapsed part of the wall. And I didn't realize that my my yard has zero drainage. It's got zero drainage. So the water just kind of like sits and expands outwards. And so yeah, got it ruined. It flooded my basement and it ruined a bunch of my baseball cards. And and now I just wanted to say I want to offer to to pay for the stuff that I damaged with my carelessness.


patrick betts  7:30  

Rick, right off the bat. I want to say water under the bridge.


rick  7:35  

Oh, I see. That's funny.


You're funny. Yeah.


patrick betts  7:42  

Yeah, I took a stand up class online. Last Really?


rick  7:45  

Yeah. That was pretty cool. Oh, sorry. Full disclosure. I I'm actually I'm recording this conversation because I'm doing a podcast about my pool. Okay, I'm doing I'm trying to document my build in the pool. I'm doing i don't know if i i told you this. But I'm doing I'm doing an inground pool this time. So this so something like this never happens again. I don't ruin my baseball gods. I don't ruin all your stuff.  


patrick betts  8:18  

Oh, was it? Oh, an inground pool? You said


rick  8:21  

yeah, I'm gonna put it in the ground. I think


patrick betts  8:24  

that's smart. I've seen those before. And my wife in her better home and gardens magazine. She she'll have them and I went to actually went through a phase once where I'd go through them and not and I cut all the pictures out of the inground pools. And you know, I just sort of like tape them up on a board.


rick  8:47  

like a like a vision board kind of thing.


patrick betts  8:51  

Yeah, something like that.


But for some reason, there was one summer I was just jonesing to have a pool.


rick  8:59  

Hey, man, you should have come over I was I had the above I mean, it's a lot of skimming leaves out of it but it's it's worth it man. If you're if you're looking for a pool I cannot recommend it above ground enough provided your yard has the proper drainage.


patrick betts  9:14  

Yeah, yeah, maybe. Maybe if maybe if this that this podcast the recording goes over well,


electric start him right.


rick  9:23  

As your wife not a swimmer. what's what's the pool?


patrick betts  9:27  

Well, you know, the whole


wheelchair thing is hot.


rick  9:30  

Oh, right. Right. But but that shouldn't stop you from from enjoying the pool. You know you you have needs to you got pool needs.


patrick betts  9:40  

Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, and I tell her


I got a like when I was a kid, I got bit by the pool bug.


rick  9:50  

Ah, don't we all get bitten by that bug. You know, it was never goes away. Very infectious. Yes, it was actually a tick is a tick.


patrick betts  9:58  

Oh yeah.


lime are the other ones. it worth it was lime.


rick  10:07  

Oh, so


I'm glad to see you doing better though. From thank you that you get. I get I'm assuming you a bit as a kid. Yeah. Yeah. And now just thrive in ob on the deck. Do you want another PVR? By the way? Yeah, yeah,


patrick betts  10:26  

please, please. You know sometimes when I get bored I to imagine that the the tick bite or you know kind of gave me superpowers.


rick  10:37  

Oh, okay, like, what kind of powers would you get from from a tick bite?


patrick betts  10:43  



since you know, it's Lyme disease. Like sometimes imagine that I can bite into lions and like, no line is too sour for me, you know?


rick  10:57  

Yeah, yeah, I could see how that would be a useful power, I guess. Yeah. Would that extend to other sour things? Are you thinking just when you imagine it? Do you bite into I don't know, like a bag, a Sour Patch Kids or something else where it's a different kind of sour maybe?


patrick betts  11:18  

Oh, that's a good idea. No, I've only been thinking limes. That's a good idea. I'll try. I'll try to apply that other sour foods.


rick  11:25  

I mean, it's your fantasy man. You can do whatever you want.


It's pretty cool power though. I don't know that it really has much to do with ticks. And Lyme is spelled differently, but I admire your your ability to spin. That's what I've always admired about you. For the listeners. This guy can turn any negative into a positive I bet he's even turned this this garage flooding into a positive somehow but


Unknown Speaker  11:57  

uh, you know, Rick, actually, full disclosure.


Unknown Speaker  12:02  

The basement flood kind of


Unknown Speaker  12:05  

well, I wanted to keep this a secret from from the neighborhood but kind of didn't run in my passion project out of my basement. So the flood


Unknown Speaker  12:15  

Oh, it got in your basement too.


Unknown Speaker  12:18  

Yeah, well, a basement underneath my garage. Oh,


Unknown Speaker  12:22  

yeah. You got one of those garage basements?


Unknown Speaker  12:24  

Yeah, so kind of shit.


Unknown Speaker  12:27  

Um, yeah, I'm so sorry. I didn't.


Unknown Speaker  12:30  

Ah, it's fine.


Unknown Speaker  12:33  

It's fine. I was uh,


Unknown Speaker  12:36  

I was running my own little Etsy shop out of there. So what I was doing is that I was creating the products in my basement. And in the garage is like where my computer was, and had like, my hang in there poster with the cat, you know?


Unknown Speaker  12:52  

Oh, gee. So all the valuables?


Unknown Speaker  12:55  

All the valuables? Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. I was making custom blacklight posters. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,


Unknown Speaker  13:03  

how do you even do that? What's the process like?


Unknown Speaker  13:08  

Well, I mean,


Unknown Speaker  13:10  

I don't I don't want


Unknown Speaker  13:11  

I know I won't make


Unknown Speaker  13:12  

you. I want to tell you. I don't want to give it out.


Unknown Speaker  13:15  

On a podcast. You make it a lot of sales. So how's that? How's it going?


Unknown Speaker  13:19  

Um, it's it's been you know, it's been.


Unknown Speaker  13:24  

They've been good. My wife bought one. A relative over in Wisconsin. They bought one. I'm hopefully looking at a future buyer right now.


Unknown Speaker  13:39  

Oh, you don't have to twist my leg. Just show me the catalog. You know, like, what can I What can I get for? For these custom blacklight posters? What's this?


Unknown Speaker  13:48  

What's this thing? They're custom? I can I can tell you some of the Commission's that I've had so far.


Unknown Speaker  13:55  

Oh, yeah. I'd love to hear.


Unknown Speaker  13:57  

Yeah. So. So I had one and it was it was big bird. But it was it was like it was like the head was taken off a big bird. You know, it was like the mask was taken off. And it was a it was a snake.


Unknown Speaker  14:12  

A snake was was playing Big Bird.


Unknown Speaker  14:16  

Yeah, real wild stuff.


Unknown Speaker  14:18  

I had another one and unit. Oh, that's a Okay, the picture really helps. That's Wow, that's Yeah, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  14:27  

Cuz I guess you couldn't if you if you were playing Big Bird as a guy. Just like that long known. Who might think you have who is like the long neck? That's not big bird.


Unknown Speaker  14:39  

Are you thinking ever snake


Unknown Speaker  14:42  

is snakes? snakes have long necks for sure. snakes. Snakes are mostly neck. Yeah. It's cool. It's probably hard to strangle a snake.


Unknown Speaker  14:53  



Unknown Speaker  14:54  

yeah. No, it is not that I would have a try. I wouldn't hurt a fly, you know, but right. It's gone. Be tough. It's gotta be tough. Anyway, what was that? What's the other one? Oh figure out what this is?


Unknown Speaker  15:07  

Yeah, this one is a is a Mount Rushmore.


Unknown Speaker  15:12  

But I don't recognize these guys.


Unknown Speaker  15:15  

Yeah, it's cuz the heads are all mascots. They're all famous mascots.


Unknown Speaker  15:19  

Oh, of course of course.


Unknown Speaker  15:21  

Over here you have one of the pet boys usually steal three of them


Unknown Speaker  15:28  

that's why I didn't recognize him. I want to spot them a mile away. Right


Unknown Speaker  15:33  

Gary Pep? Scary Pep. And then Okay, so then to the right of Gary pet. There's Charlie tuna.


Unknown Speaker  15:44  

Oh, the fish. Yeah, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  15:46  

Yeah. Yeah. The fish to the big baritone voice.


Unknown Speaker  15:50  

Yeah. Who, who sells his brothers as food?


Unknown Speaker  15:53  

Yeah, real dark stuff


Unknown Speaker  15:55  

is pretty. It's pretty fucked up. Sorry.


Unknown Speaker  15:58  

eff up. I know. You're a church guy. Thank you. Thank you. And then to the right of him. We have Gumby who is not a necessarily a mascot, but, um, the customer's always right. That's what they want. He's,


Unknown Speaker  16:13  

he's a character, you know?


Unknown Speaker  16:15  

Oh, he's a character. All right.


Unknown Speaker  16:17  

He's. He's a character.


Unknown Speaker  16:19  

He's a character arc Gumby.


Unknown Speaker  16:20  

I like his horse. I like his horse. hokey pokey. That's his name. I like that one.


Unknown Speaker  16:26  

Mm hmm. And then to the right of Gumby, we have a second Pep boy.


Unknown Speaker  16:33  

Oh, mock Pep,


Unknown Speaker  16:34  

Mark Pep, didn't they? They didn't care for the third one. Jeff.


Unknown Speaker  16:39  

Yeah, it was. Well, I mean, after probably after, you know what happened to them? They probably thought it was insensitive. I don't know.


Unknown Speaker  16:49  

Right? With a climate and everything going on.


Unknown Speaker  16:51  

Yeah. Now


Unknown Speaker  16:52  

let's see that. I see that probably.


Unknown Speaker  16:57  

Usually I don't like canceled culture, but I get it you know, reason I get it. I anyway, I think the other two Pep Boys I love I go to Pep Boys. I go to Pep Boys probably once a week. Just to see what kind of oils they have. And I'll be honest, I don't know the difference that well. I just like the packaging. And I think it's a I think that's an art form all in itself is packaging for oils. You try and make people think that it's science when it's just kind of goop. Yeah, you don't


Unknown Speaker  17:29  

like about oil jars or canisters?


Unknown Speaker  17:34  

Tell me the long necks they have long necks just so right. I love a long neck on a canister like a snake. Like much like a


Unknown Speaker  17:43  

snake. It's like a regular canister.


Unknown Speaker  17:46  

You looking at it from the bottom seems normal enough. And then blue, big neck,


Unknown Speaker  17:52  

big snake neck right up into top like big bed. Just speaking of speaking of, you know, garages and cars and stuff, we should probably I'd love to just kind of assess the damage I've done and because I want I want to pay you back for this stuff. I'm not going to take no for an answer. So I appreciate it. Please just show me around show me what's show me what's busted and I got it on record so I won't forget. Okay, well,


Unknown Speaker  18:27  

I guess first off like I said, the hang in there poster of the cat. That's that's that's totaled.


Unknown Speaker  18:35  

So that's like, Oh, it's totaled. It's not usable at all anymore. totaled? Hmm. You think


Unknown Speaker  18:43  

nothing's salvageable from it?


Unknown Speaker  18:47  

No, I'm not trying to I'm not trying to fight you on this. I'm just I'm just shocked that


Unknown Speaker  18:53  

something that resilient took that much damage.


Unknown Speaker  18:56  

It is ironic how the one thing saying


Unknown Speaker  19:01  

it was torn to shreds in a torrent of pool water. Now, almost 6000 gallons of put that above ground pools hold a lot of water people don't realize so. Anyway, so we got the poster. Looks like your computer's a little frazzled. their computers totaled.


Unknown Speaker  19:20  



Unknown Speaker  19:23  

Yep, it's not even turning on. No.


Unknown Speaker  19:28  

Oh, crap. I'm so sorry. Oh, crap.


Unknown Speaker  19:30  

Hey, it's all right. All right. See


Unknown Speaker  19:34  

the I see a big stack of cardboard boxes that are kind of melting because of the pool water. I'm just trying to paint a visual picture for people on who is who's listening. It looks like you got a stack of books and one of these that? Uh,


Unknown Speaker  19:52  

yeah, go over my books. Those are my encyclopedias.


Unknown Speaker  19:59  

Correct. It's just so expensive. Oh crap. Oh crap.


Unknown Speaker  20:03  

So right so right you know, I was I was halfway through reading them so


Unknown Speaker  20:10  

so I just need to get you the T to z volume then.


Unknown Speaker  20:13  

Yep, T to z thank god oh I should mention they're from the 1978 oh crap


Unknown Speaker  20:23  

I bet they don't even make those anymore. Well no, I'll do my best to uh to find them and if not, I'll get you an even newest set with that probably even has more information


Unknown Speaker  20:38  

One can only hope brick.


Unknown Speaker  20:40  

I would hope that we've learned more and not just taken away information that we've known over the past what four decades for decades. Maybe five look I'm seeing Okay, so I'm seeing your encyclopedias are destroyed. I'm seeing I'm seeing a another box over here. Another melty cardboard box over here. Yeah, those says do not open.


Unknown Speaker  21:11  

Okay, yeah, I guess I'll open those sentences just you and me. Okay, so as you can learn so as you can see,


Unknown Speaker  21:23  

these are a collection of


Unknown Speaker  21:27  

facemasks that I would make? Okay, so let me back up so the whole dude open thing. So when my wife is a way going to conferences for work, I treat myself by going down to the the old plaster party location downtown we can go and you can have plaster molds made of things.


Unknown Speaker  21:56  

Oh, yeah, I love that place. I know. I gotta my my wife and son God rest their souls. made me a set of plates with their handprints on him.


Unknown Speaker  22:07  

That's a lovely.


Unknown Speaker  22:09  

Yeah, I'm surprised. My my son's 15 year old hand fit on those plates. So I know. Well, they have big hands too. He could palm a basketball is 15 It's crazy.


Unknown Speaker  22:23  

You can do anything you want. They're they're great. Yeah. Great. So so so when Diane is out of town, Oh,


Unknown Speaker  22:33  

she doesn't like me spending our money


Unknown Speaker  22:37  

getting these but I say the heck with it. And I go down and I make a little facemask every time I go. And I painted up real nice. And I date it on the inside. And when she's gone, I'll wear them.


Unknown Speaker  22:51  

So you're making a facemask out of Oh yeah, these are like yeah, like a Phantom of the Opera kind of thing. And then you got


Unknown Speaker  23:01  

Yeah, that was Yeah, the Federal the opera one was hard because it's a whole facemask so once so one half I painted white the other half I did paint look like my regular face like skin tone and all. So that was actually a very prized one.


Unknown Speaker  23:18  

That it's it's good. I genuinely I thought there was a guy in there it's a gorgeous mask. Well, thank you. Even the eye holes look I did just haunting some of these. Some of these other masks are truly beautiful too. You have it you have a real talent for this.


Unknown Speaker  23:39  

Yeah, you know actually, I this is crazy. Oddly enough I guess. I'm glad this one got destroyed.


Unknown Speaker  23:46  

But oddly enough got a Jeff Pep


Unknown Speaker  23:49  

face here.


Unknown Speaker  23:51  

No way Wow. Okay,


Unknown Speaker  23:53  

what are the


Unknown Speaker  23:55  

looks like the paint all kind of washed off there? Yeah. Yeah. Kind of reminds me of his whole incident huh? But


Unknown Speaker  24:03  

oh right with a colored washing


Unknown Speaker  24:05  

Yeah, yes. Oh, oh. Oh, he's canceled on a fall from grace. What what a fall what a tremendous fall. So Jeff Papp.


Unknown Speaker  24:17  

You know what your I am thankful for? What I'm


Unknown Speaker  24:22  

not seeing his name in the paper anymore. Oh, come on those 15 weeks. He was in the paper. He was constantly in the news for those things.


Unknown Speaker  24:32  

Like just just arrest the guy or shut up you know, after I 15 it's like, do we need any more?


Unknown Speaker  24:40  

We get it. I'm not gonna lie. Get


Unknown Speaker  24:42  

it? I'm not gonna buy any more pet boy product from him specifically.


Unknown Speaker  24:47  

Yeah, I'm not going to buy any pet boys products with the third brother in the middle. Right. I I wonder who they're going to get to replace him though. Cuz they gotta get someone otherwise the logo is fuck f sorry, you're a church guy F.


Unknown Speaker  25:06  

No, I'll say it. It's fucked.


Unknown Speaker  25:08  

Oh, yeah, it's totally fucked


Unknown Speaker  25:11  

on this one thing it is.


Unknown Speaker  25:13  

Yeah. So I wonder I just wonder sometimes, you know, if they haven't auditions, maybe I could be a pet boy.


Unknown Speaker  25:20  

I would. Rick, I would love to


Unknown Speaker  25:22  

be. Oh, thank you so much. That means a lot. I would love to see you up there too. I just don't think it's as much You don't seem like a in front of the camera kind of guy, you know?


Unknown Speaker  25:34  

Yeah, yeah. No, that's why I like masks.


Unknown Speaker  25:37  

Yeah, it seems like it. Do you think it would be insensitive of you to be the third Pep boy but wearing Jeff's mask?


Unknown Speaker  25:47  

There's an idea there.


Unknown Speaker  25:49  

They don't have to change the logo. You just tell everyone Hey, no, it's not it's Pat. But he's in a mask. This is Pat pinup and he's he just is when he just looks like Jeff Pep.


Unknown Speaker  26:03  

Right? Maybe Maybe something kind of similar they could do is that they could kind of give us a Oh, here's an idea they could give it like a Colonel Sanders vibe. Or every few


Unknown Speaker  26:18  



Unknown Speaker  26:19  

new person kind of cycles in as Jeff bell.


Unknown Speaker  26:22  

Yeah, whenever whenever. You know, someone who does comedy for rednecks needs a little extra cash that they bring in a new pet boy.


Unknown Speaker  26:34  

Yeah, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  26:38  

I would love to


Unknown Speaker  26:39  

every few months I can be like that. I think that's okay, cool. Good. There's


Unknown Speaker  26:47  

there's no way Todd Glass's that desperate


Unknown Speaker  26:53  

to use


Unknown Speaker  26:55  

another one and then once they cycle through that roster, there'll be anyone it will be like, oh, backpack kid very cool.


Unknown Speaker  27:06  

I wonder who the first female Pep Boys can be.


Unknown Speaker  27:12  

Do you remember? Do you remember when Raven Reba McIntyre was the colonel and they're like, oh my god. It's the first female Colonel.


Unknown Speaker  27:23  

As if it was like progress.


Unknown Speaker  27:30  

Yeah, it was uh oh. You got to Reba mask in here. Yeah,


Unknown Speaker  27:37  

actually, that


Unknown Speaker  27:40  

oddly enough, when I went into the shop, and I got it made, they're like, they ring a bell ding ding ding ding ding ding. Hey, guys. It's the first female mass.


Unknown Speaker  27:48  

That was that's pretty cool, man. That's pretty cool.


Unknown Speaker  27:51  



Unknown Speaker  27:52  

I'm surprised more women are wearing masks to disguise themselves as you know, whatever. I don't know why else you wear a mask I guess. Maybe for fashion.


Unknown Speaker  28:04  

I don't like the way I look.


Unknown Speaker  28:06  

Oh, stop. You're handsome. No, you're friggin handsome guy.


Unknown Speaker  28:12  

No, I don't like the way I look.


Unknown Speaker  28:14  

Okay, well, look, I know we're not we're not gonna solve your body dysmorphia on my podcast so it can be your own thing let's hang on there's a but I mean there's so much fucking effin stuff in here that I'm gonna have to pay for wow oh, this actually looks waterproof. What we got here oh yeah seems to have survived Those are my water shoes. Want to shoes? So you put your water shoes in the one waterproof container in here. hmm


Unknown Speaker  28:45  

yeah. Yeah,


Unknown Speaker  28:48  

I mean in hindsight being 2020 I mean it perfectly fits the water shoots I get why you did it. Yeah, cuz cuz devoid of this freak accident would have been perfect.


Unknown Speaker  29:01  

Well, the thing is that they're they're really nice water shoots as you can tell, and I just I put them in the in the clear plastic. So it's like to show them off.


Unknown Speaker  29:12  

You're like a you like a sneaker head for water shoes.


Unknown Speaker  29:17  



Unknown Speaker  29:18  

That's pretty cool. Like a hypebeast kind of guy for water shoes. That's pretty cool. I What? That's a word. My son. My son called himself a hypebeast. Before you know, everything happened. He was a big, you know, he was big into sneakerhead Stuff. co op did hip hop culture stuff. I didn't get it. But I love the tournament. I love the terminology that those guys use. So yeah, hypebeast is like


Unknown Speaker  29:50  

eyepieces fun. Super fun.


Unknown Speaker  29:54  

So what do you use and all these water shoes for though? Do you just like the aesthetic of it because you don't have a pool. We've established Yeah, you don't come to my pool, which I don't get. I mean, I get it now that it's busted. But


Unknown Speaker  30:07  

what's gonna change once you get that underground pool?


Unknown Speaker  30:11  

Well, I hope it's not underground. I hope it's just on kind of in the ground. I don't know if I told you this, but my grandfather actually invented the above ground pool, which is kind of how I've, you know, made all this money. And he built it, because he thought that, you know, the inground pool made you closer to hell. So he didn't want to be that close to hell. So he built above ground pools so that you wouldn't get while you were swimming, possessed by the devil and stuff. So it's, it's, you know, it's been hard for me to come to the realization, not because I believe that crap, but because, you know, it's such a part of my heritage, that I get this inground pool. Right.


Unknown Speaker  31:03  

Well, well, you know, what they say a couple things. First off your grandfather? Sounds like a hypebeast.


Unknown Speaker  31:15  

I'll show you using that. Right.


Unknown Speaker  31:17  

Well, it's fun to say throw it off.


Unknown Speaker  31:19  

For sure. And also, I just learned it.


Unknown Speaker  31:24  

I will say that I would say he's not too far off. You know, I've there's a school of thought that actually is true. For a below ground pools, is that the correct?


Unknown Speaker  31:37  

Usually we use the term in ground pool, the below ground pool is also politically correct. Underground pool is kind of a separate thing that we don't want to lump in with. Right, you know,


Unknown Speaker  31:50  

I have heard that inground pools do share connections with with Satan. You know, there's usually you know, the, and some of them. The depth is six feet. There are six steps on the ladder, and the ideal temperature is 66 degrees. Now, that's 6666. Well, now that's no that's the number of the beast plus another six just in case


Unknown Speaker  32:22  

in case you needed more proof. Wow, Mark of the Beast, my God, I I like to swim in my pool at 62 degrees though. So I'm not getting it. You know, I got a lot of trees in my so I get nice shade in that. But I The goal is to is to get it, you know, cooled enough that I can heat it up to 62 degrees because I think it's harder to like, get a pool cooler, you know, like a refrigerator but for your pool. So right. I want to keep it. I don't want to get in too hot on me. Because on a hot day. It's so much growth. It's It's gross. You know, you want to swim in something cold?


Unknown Speaker  33:06  

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I mean, a hot day you want to be hypebeast and swim in cold water.


Unknown Speaker  33:11  

Again, I don't have a super good grasp on the word hypebeast. But I think you're using it wrong if what my son told me is correct before God rest his soul. Who, boy? No. Well, yes, but you. I mean, you don't have to say it like that.


Unknown Speaker  33:32  

Okay, I just, I just thought choking on snow was how he died. That's what I've been telling people who've asked me, well, well, I believe he choked on snow and maybe maybe a glove that he had.


Unknown Speaker  33:44  

But I mean, it's entirely possible that he choked on snow. But he may have died before the point that he was fixated. As he and my wife were both lost in a big avalanche. where, you know, the bodies were never covered. So we actually don't know how they died. That's more for the listeners. I know. You are kind of aware of that. But yeah, it's it's I mean, it's that was part of the reason I actually decided to get this pool is because me and the missus were always fighting about the above ground versus the ground. And I was like I'm and I wouldn't budge. And so this whole incident has kind of proved her right. You know, that maybe inground was maybe not the way to go for everybody. But in my current situation with my dad having no drainage the way it does, maybe I do need an inground pool.


Unknown Speaker  34:47  

Well, I think it's a lovely tribute that you're


Unknown Speaker  34:51  

that you're setting up. Thank you so much. I I just I feel like I don't I don't honor them as much as I should. Should and I feel like that's because I'm scared to do it, you know, because it makes it more real. And part of the way I've been getting by is by, you know, keeping busy and keeping myself focused on looking ahead instead of reflecting back on what I had, of course. I'm sorry to get so sentimental on you, Pat, I I just I've had two of these PBS and I haven't eaten really all day, so I'm a little bit you know, I'm feeling a little bit.


Unknown Speaker  35:36  

No, it's fine. I hey, I told you I don't like the way my face looks. So I opened up to you. So it's, it's good.


Unknown Speaker  35:43  

Yeah, it's good. We're getting closer. We're getting closer. And there's nothing wrong with that.


Unknown Speaker  35:48  

No, I feel like this is the first time you may have ever really talked like you know, like talked


Unknown Speaker  35:53  

Yeah, I mean, we talk we talk like two sentences a lot. We do the like howdy neighbor crazy crazy weather we haven't we Yeah, we don't we don't really hang out you know? No, and hey, maybe that maybe that maybe that's got to change you know, maybe we're


Unknown Speaker  36:14  

maybe we're maybe we're friends now. You know,


Unknown Speaker  36:17  

Rick, I'll tell you what, as soon as I get back in business, someone's getting a custom blacklight poster free of charge.


Unknown Speaker  36:26  

Whoa, I wonder who I'm gonna pick to be my third pet boy on my pet boy Mount Rushmore poster.


Unknown Speaker  36:34  

Yeah, no you can have that again that was pushed for someone else had but if you want the same one, I guess I could just redo that.


Unknown Speaker  36:42  

I would love to do a poster of Mount Rushmore with the Pep Boys and then Christina Aguilera as my last because I love that I love that rich if I was a rich girl Dad I got an A as my it's what it's one of my sleeper picks you know, like


Unknown Speaker  37:08  

I think that might be Gwen Stefani


Unknown Speaker  37:11  

No way. I think that's going Stefano freight. Ah f oh crap.


Unknown Speaker  37:19  

Really? Yeah, it's not it's not x Tina


Unknown Speaker  37:24  

Oh, that's why Wow. Okay, so I guess well now I don't know what to do because I love I love that song but I also love the film burlesque so now I need to decide who my third Pep Boys gonna be.


Unknown Speaker  37:41  

not familiar with the film so I can't help


Unknown Speaker  37:42  

you out but I'm sure I'm sure yeah Christina colors in it. She's Oh, God does burlesque it's that's pretty much the whole movie. Look, I we can watch this. So we can talk burlesque all day. But I do. It's I think we should at some point, kind of finish up our inventory. Run here, you know, is there what what are some of the other big ticket items that I I can replace right away for you?


Unknown Speaker  38:11  

My elliptical?


Unknown Speaker  38:14  

Oh, oh, sorry. I didn't see it under all the maps. Yeah, yeah, it's covered in maps. I


Unknown Speaker  38:22  

tried to I tried to do it got wet, and I tried to dry it out by throwing maps on it. I'm caught I'm so crap. I'm so sorry. Which, which, I guess, you know, inversely, maps are another item that are now destroyed.


Unknown Speaker  38:39  

Yeah, clearly, clearly. I gotta get you some new maps. We just won't even buy maps like that.


Unknown Speaker  38:45  

You know? I don't know. Because I was getting them down from a cartographer


Unknown Speaker  38:54  

down Oh, these are custom jobs. Yeah, yeah.


Unknown Speaker  38:57  

Yeah. Yeah, these are custom guys. Maybe this guy is an Etsy


Unknown Speaker  39:02  

he might you might I was going to his brick and mortar place down okay. Yeah.


Unknown Speaker  39:08  

Okay. Is it wait where where on Main Is it because it's,


Unknown Speaker  39:14  

um, so it's it's across from the dog park. And right next to the Dairy Queen. Oh, fuck


Unknown Speaker  39:23  

is that sorry. f i think that place just burned down.


Unknown Speaker  39:27  



Unknown Speaker  39:28  



Unknown Speaker  39:30  

right. Ah, crap. Crap. I knew I crap. I crap I blew it. I blew it. I'll get you your map. So I'm sure the guy still the guy is alive. The guy is


Unknown Speaker  39:44  

the guy with the big big curly mustache, right? That's


Unknown Speaker  39:49  

Yeah, I saw him on the news. He's got the big curly mustache and he was yelling about his his store. But I can shit i can i can tell He's He's alive so he can still do the maps.


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